Chapter 4: Hasaan

"Where the fuck you been nigga? I been blowing your phone up all night!"
"Look Kendra, I'm still too hungover to be dealing with this shit right now. I was with Marco. He got drunk, I took him home and crashed over there. So, chill the fuck out. I'm goin to grab a shower."
"You expect me to believe you was with that fag?"
I hated when Kendra got pissed, she says shit that she soon comes to regret. She was in my face, and all I could think about was Marco.
"First of all, yes I do expect you to believe me because I'm telling you the truth. Second, you better watch your mouth. He's never done anything to you for you to call him out his name. What the fuck is your problem? Look, like I said we went to our boys house, got shit faced, and Marco was puking all over the place. I couldn't leave my boy like that."
Kendra always held this irrational jealousy towards Marco's friendship with me. Until last night, Marco had never done so much as looked at my ass. I walked past Kendra and hopped in the shower. I couldn't believe that I had sex with Marco last night. I wondered if he really didn't remember anything. How did this happen? Why didn't I stop him from kissing me? I couldn't wrap my mind around none of this shit.
Just as I was about to hop out the shower Kendra decided to join me. She knew she was wrong, and this was her way of apologizing. As she washed my back, my mind wandered, flashes of Marco's flesh flooded my mind, and blood flooded my meat. I turned around and Kendra immediately dropped to her knees, I leaned back and let the water run down my chest and stomach as I imagined it was Marco on his knees giving me head. Kendra wasn't nearly as skilled. I told her to get up and turn around, I bent her over and hit it from behind. I tried to drown out Kendra's moans as I reenacted the night before. I closed my eyes and grabbed her hips and before I knew it I was slamming into Marco, I thought about how tight he was and I lost it. It happened, I had bust the fattest nut. I turned around washed up and hopped out the shower. It was official, I couldn't get Marco off my mind. I started to call him, but I decided to wait, I knew Derick would be leaving for work tonight and Marco definitely wasn't gonna talk while he was there.

Chapter 3: Honey, I'm Home...

"Marco, Derick's home!" Hasaan yelled through the door.
My heart stopped, and my mind was racing. Was Hasaan still naked? What would Derick think when I came out clad in only my robe?
"Marco? You okay in there, bro?" Hasaan yelled, "Derick is here."
"I'll be out in a minute." I yelled back.
I went to the sink, tossed some water on my face and went to face my boyfriend.
"You feelin' alright babe?" Derick asked, "Hasaan told me how much you had to drink last night. What were you thinking?"
The look on Derick's face told me he felt as bad as I did about the argument that occurred the day before.
"Look, I can see you two have somethings to talk about, so I'll just let myself out." Hasaan said, "Marco, take care of that hangover bro."
"I'll come lock the door." I said.
As Hasaan left the apartment, he slid his hand in my robe. "I'll call you tonight." He said with a smirk.
"Please don't." I said as I slammed the door behind him.

"Babe, I'm sorry." Derick said, as he walked into the front room, "We both said some things that we shouldn't have, and I just want to apologize."
"I'm sorry too. Look, lets just forget that it even happened ok?"
Derick leaned in for a kiss, and then stopped.
"You weren't in there throwing up were you?" he said.
"No. Why?" I asked.
"Because, I don't wanna kiss you with the vomit mouth." he said with a laugh.
Derick kissed me with his full, soft lips and almost made me forget all about Hasaan.
"I'm not even gonna talk shit about you cooking breakfast food at two o'clock in the afternoon."
"Shut up and come eat," I said "I made some for Hasaan, but Kendra called cursing him out so you know he had to run."
"I'm so glad you got buddies like him to keep an eye on you when I'm not around."
"Yeah, I'm lucky to have friends like him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hasaan and I had been friends since high school. Him, the typical ball player and myself, the typical bookworm. We ended up randomly being paired to work on a research paper. We exchanged phone numbers and began to work hard on our project. Over the next two weeks, we would work on the assignment then we'd just sit and chat. I don't know what it was, but there was a connection between us. Hasaan would tell me about his childhood, who he was having sex with, and who he wanted to have sex with. Soon, we were very close, he knew my family and I knew his. He was like a brother to me, which is why I was so taken by our night together. I was lost in thought when Derick woke from his nap.
"Babe, whats wrong?"
"Nothing, just thinking." I said looking out the window.
"You sure? You've seemed a little distracted all day."
"I'm fine, I promise. What time do you have to work tonite?" I asked, in an effort to change the subject.
"I'm actually aboout to head to the crib to get ready now, am I coming here, or should I go home when I get off?"
"Come here, definitely." I said with a sly grin across my face.

Chapter 2: Questions, Anyone?

"Oh shit! Marco, your leg!" Hasaan yelled as hot coffee splattered everywhere.
I stood motionless as Hasaan scrambled to pick up the shattered mugs. I felt nothing, no burns, I didn't even care that I was standing in a puddle of hot coffee.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I finally asked.
"What?" Hasaan asked as he cleaned up the mess.
"What are you doing here?" I asked again.
"Marco, last night was crazy dude." Hasaan said with a grin curling across his lips. "You were drinking 100 proof, with Moscato as a chaser. And lets not talk about the two shots of patron you had."
"Ok, I get it I was drunk as hell. Now, can we get to the part where you tell me how you ended up in my bed?" I said getting annoyed.
"After I helped you get in bed, I left or tried to. You kept saying you didn't wanna be here by yourself, and asked me to stay. We talked for a moment, then you tried to kiss me."
"Wait, so you're telling me that I made the first move?" I said, cutting Hasaan off.
"Look, I was at the door when you leaned in and kissed me. I asked you if you knew what you were doing, and you just kept on kissing me." he said.
"So why didn't you stop me?" I asked.
"I didn't want to." He simply replied.
"So, let me get this straight, I tried to kiss you, and you didn't stop me. You forgot that I had a boyfriend?"
"You forgot you had a boyfriend." he replied, "Don't try to make me the bad guy in this, like I said, you kissed me. Not the other way around."
I stood there as his words hit me like bullets. "You forgot you had a boyfriend." The reality set in, I cheated on Derick. My mind started to race, I felt dizzy. I leaned against the counter, I felt weak. As I went over the events in my mind, I still couldn't piece everything together.
"So, I guess you forgot about Kendra?" I finally said.
"Well, it was kinda hard to focus on her when I had all of that all over me." Hasaan said with a grin that made my stomach turn.
Suddenly, the sight of him was making me physically sick. Here I am, reeling with guilt, and all he could do was make lewd comments.
"Look, I'll deal with Kendra when the time comes. Right now all I can think about is whats under that robe." He said, as he took a step closer to me, reaching for my robe.
He leaned in and kissed me on my neck, pushing his naked body against mine. He undid my robe, and our two naked bodies created a heat that I hadn't felt with Derick in a long time.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I thought to myself.
"Hasaan, stop." I said pushing him away, "You need to leave."
"Why, whats wrong?" Hasaan said.
"THIS! This is wrong, on so many different levels! You have a girlfriend. Look, I think its time for you to leave." I tied my robe, and went to the bathroom. "When I come out, you need to be dressed and ready to leave."
"So, let me get this straight, we share a moment and you just kick me out? Thats fucked up Marco!" Hasaan yelled through the door.
"Moment? There was no moment, when I woke up I thought you were Derick! I didn't cook for you, I cooked for my boyfriend, who I love. Now, I'm gonna ask you one last time to get your shit, and leave!"
"Ok Marco, thats what we're on? I see you."
I sat on the side of the tub as tears streamed down my face. I couldn't believe I had actually cheated on Derick, and with Hasaan. I sat in a trance trying to make sense of everything.
"Whats up Derick?" I heard Hasaan say.
My heart dropped.

Chapter 1: Blame it...

Boom! The sound of the early morning thunderstorm woke me from my alcohol induced slumber. My head was swimming, I was still drunk. "Damn 100 proof" I thought to myself. I don't even know how I even made into my apartment. As I laid there listening to the symphony of the storm, the body next to me shifted and threw his muscular arm around me. I must have been more fucked up than I thought. Apparently my boyfriend Derick came over. "Did I call him?" I thought. It wouldn't be the first time I've called him when I was drunk or high to come over. We had argued the day before, but I knew if I called he'd come. I snuggled in closer and began to fall back to sleep. Just as I was dozing off, I heard Lil' Wayne coming from the other side of the bed.

"Babe, your phone is ringing." I said without opening my eyes. Derick was as silent as a stone. He'd obviously been drinking last night too.

The ringing stopped briefly, then resumed.

"Derick, please get your phone before I answer it."

Just as I was about to reach over and grab the phone, the ringing stopped. "I guess we're all made up." I thought to myself as I fell back to sleep.

When I woke again, the storm had passed, I wasn't dizzy, and even though the sun was high in the sky, Derick was still sleep. He had turned his back to me, so I seized the opportunity to run to the bathroom. As I got up, it was apparent that we had made up. I found a shiny gold condom wrapper on the floor by my side of the bed, and another by the foot of the bed. I chuckled. I walked my naked body to the washroom. I relieved myself, and hopped in the shower. As I washed last night away, my stomach began to growl. After my shower, I threw on my robe, and strutted back to the bedroom. Derick was still sleep.

"Babe, Im about to cook. Do you want something?" I asked.

"Coffee." his muffled response came from under the pillow.

"Anything else?"

"Nah, that's it."

I whipped up some eggs and toast for the both of us, Derick had a habit of trying to snatch food off my plate. I set the food on the table, and put the coffee on.

"Babe, I made you some eggs and toast too, it'll help if you're hungover." I yelled from the kitchen. Just as I poured our cups of coffee, I heard the bathroom door shut. Shortly after I heard the shuffle of flip flops headed to the kitchen.

"Man, that smells really good Marco."

As I turned around, my heart dropped as quickly as the coffee mugs hit the floor. I was so shocked, I didn't even feel the hot coffee splatter on my legs.

"Hasaan?"


To be continued....

"Life is an occasion...rise to it"

Wow, its been a nice little minute since I've posted a blog entry. Well, as many of you know, I made the decision to join the military. I've been on the road to enlistment for about a month now. Its funny how it went from a thought, to a notion, to the only thing I can see myself accomplishing. It all started with a test, the ASVAB test. The ASVAB test is the test that lets you know what jobs you're best suited for in the military. Took the test, with one days notice, scored five points shy of what i needed to move forward. Now, the old me would have given up at that point, and just paid it and kept moving. Instead, I immediately got home, went to amazon.com and ordered a study booklet. I had 30 days to retest and also detox from my smoking. The smoking was a struggle, I must admit. Y'all know how much I enjoy my Cudi sessions, lol. But I stayed away from the mj, and eventually passed my drug test. I studied as much as I could, then I was ready for the retest. Last week, I took the retest, and surpassed the score I needed. Last thursday I went to MEPS. MEPS is basically where I go to take my physical. MEPS was a crazy experience. We were taken to this hotel by alstate arena to stay the night, we were fed, then basically sent to our room. The actual day of the physical started at 4:00 in the morning. We were out of the hotel by 5:15, and went to the facility. From there we were herded from room to room, and poked, prodded, had our nuts squeezed, told to turn our heads and cough, bent over, and told to piss in a room of 5 other people, at least 3 feet from the stall, then weighed in, and told to do all types of excercises in front of 17 other dudes in nothing but their underwear. After all of that, you would then be informed if you qualified or not. Unfortunately, I didn't qualify. I was 3 percent over the BMI percentage allowed. I was crushed. I was hurt. I was embarrassed. I felt like a failure. Once again, the old me would have just said fuck it. But, nope, I WILL BE A SOLDIER. If for nothing else, because this has truly been a challenge thus far. So basically like my title says..."LIFE IS AN OCCASION...RISE TO IT" and damnit, I'm rising higer than ever.

He's Not THAT Into You: How to get Kane Alexander

Well, with Valentines day two weeks away, I'm feeling all retrospective of past relationships, and things that was done that completely turned me OFF. So, I decided I'll let y'all know what to do to possibly get me...lol

Less is more.
I don't need you to constantly tell me how: hot, sexy, cute, attractive, fine, or any other words you wanna use to compliment me. I find myself wary of those who feel the need to CONTINUOUSLY compliment me. A compliment here and there is just fine. I like actions, not words. Which brings me to my second point...

Dude, we just met.
If we met on Friday, and by Monday you're calling me baby...it scares the shit out of me. If we are in the early stages of getting to know each other, calling me by my name is just fine. How in the hell can I be your "baby" if you don't even know my middle name? The "too much, too soon" is kind of a deal breaker for me. I don't like uber clingy.

I don't work in a daycare or a zoo.
"I just ain't found a nigga who can handle me." If you have found yourself saying this often, I implore you, keep it moving. I feel that the only things in the world that needs "handling" are babies, and animals. Usually, the dudes that need handlers are uber bitchy, prone to having bad attitudes, and generally crazy. That type of shit may turn some people on, but not this guy.

Bro's before Hoes.
Now, first off, I don't mean "Hoe" in a disrespectful way. But just to get my point across. My friends are my family. We ride together, and if you don't like them, well...either you deal or keep it moving. I try my best to keep my lovers and friends at the same level, we will kick it as whole often. I like for my friends to know my guy and vice versa to avoid the whole "Your spending too much time" arguments from either side. I'll never force my guy to "like" my friends, but respect is a must.

The Bey effect.
I love Beyonce. Point blank. And yes, I will look at you strangely if you profess early on that you don't. In my book, that's on the same level as being crazy. Its best to keep it to yourself until I'm too far in to judge you. LOL. (But I'm SO serious.)

This is a relationship, not High School.
So, Im not one for tests. Don't resort to trying to set me up just to see my reaction or to get an answer. I'll let you know a secret, I'll be pissed. And, you'll be single. I don't like games.

Speak your mind.
If you have something to say, say it. I may come off as a bit bullheaded at times, but in relationships, I'm very compromising. If you have a complaint or a concern, by all means, voice it. I'm not a mind reader. I'm very empathic, I can tell when something is bothering you, even if I don't say it. So just be honest.

We need to talk.
If you ever wanna see me freak the fuck out, utter those words. I hate them. Bad things generally follow, so if we actually need to talk, its best to not use those particular words in that particular order.

$!@&^#, @*(+#))@*(#)(, *@7#^^@%.
Please do not get offended easily. I have the mouth of a fucking sailor. I curse a lot. I enjoy cursing. I do it daily. If you can't handle rated r language, then I'm definitely not the man you're looking for.

Party, Party, Party, Let's all get wasted.
There will be times that I will be going out clubbing with either my brothers or my crew. Don't expect an invite all the time. I'll never go out without letting you know, but its not always gonna an invite accompanying the informing. And if I let you know where I'm going, never mistake it as me asking permission. This one guy I was dating preferred that I didn't go to this particular party, and for reasons that had NOTHING to do with me. That was the beginning of the end. Also, if we happen to end up in the same club/party cake mode is not always necessary, dance, have a good time, just be mindful, and know boundaries, and we'll be cool.

Lights, Camera, ACTION!
I probably should've made this one of the first ones. The quickest way to get to me is to keep me entertained. I'm a Libra, I like good conversation, and witty individuals. My brother likes to call it, being "mindfucked". If you can't make me laugh, I can get pass that, but if you are about as much fun to talk to as a window, then we have a problem.

Don't fly me away, don't need to buy a diamond key to unlock my heart.
I don't need, nor want your money. Gifts are nice, in moderation. I was raised that anything I need, I can get it myself. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T.

So, thats all for now people...FIN.

Decisions...Decisions....

So as it seems, the bitch ass upper management of Borders has decided to contest my unemployment payments. Basically, I could lose the small income that I have. Jobs aren't calling, I don't even have any interviews set up. So where does that leave me? Broke and jobless. So, what are my options really? Well, (in the event that they cut off my unemployment)I can sit around the house with no money, and apply for jobs all day online, (since I won't have money to actually catch the bus)I can lose my damn mind from being broke as fuck all the time, or I can join the military. There are many who I feels like theres another option, but PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT IT IS...
I'm not saying I wanna go because I feel that its the best thing to do, or even because I really want to, but I see no other options, either that, or apply to be a cop...and either one doesn't fit me at all...so I'm waiting to hear from the unemployment people and I have to wait til then to make a decision...